Monday evening, on my walk home from work, I stopped by the Met Gala and took intensely creepy photos of celebrities from across the street. Please note that they are a bit grainy because I was working against a far distance, an atrocious angle, crazy celebrity stalking tweens/adults, and several buses passing right in front of my face (thanks, MTA!).
I now invite you all to share in my paparazzi shame.
Dita Von Teese didn’t want to hold Zac Posen’s hand. She showed up for the dress. Not for the affection.
Jim Parsons giggled to himself, thinking about how much Sheldon Cooper would hate this party and all these people.
Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka brought the punk-matador realness.
David Beckham was all smiles. He just remembered he’s the HOTTEST MAN OF ALL TIME. EVER. ANYWHERE.
Brian Cranston tried to sell this young woman meth on the red carpet. METHod acting, you guys. GET IT?
Katie Holmes’ look was inspired by Belle from “Beauty and the Beast” and the girl from “The Grudge”.
I just. I mean. I can’t. I’m scared. Donatella.
Lupita literally rocked a chain link fence covered in arts and crafts supplies. She can do no wrong.
Vera Wang flipped us off. Just kidding, she was adorable and tiny. Like, for size reference, her shoulder bow is the size of a dime.
Zooey Deschanel felt sad that the police officer had to wear such a dreadful outfit to the ball. Too theme-y, sir!
And now, the most important photo you will see all day…no, all WEEK…Giselle eating the head of someone far less important than her. Oh, and Tom Brady.
And finally, here is Taylor Swift and Chloe Sevigney making their way up the grand red carpeted steps, into the glamfest.
‘Til next year, Met Ball!
meejsees 